Participant name and Project

Thomas – Autism-Friendly Rugby

Your name and relationship to participant?

Stephanie, mum to Thomas

How did you hear about Strathmore Community Rugby Trust and why did you decide to give Autism-Friendly Rugby a try?

We heard about it through word-of-mouth. We decided to try it because we wanted Thomas to participate in sports and be part of a club. At the time I was not aware of any other regular sports clubs that were open to children with autism.

Thinking back to before you started, what did you hope to get out of it, and were you worried about anything?

I hoped for Thomas to find a place where he was happy, accepted, and learning a new skill. I wanted him to meet people and to be active. I was worried about how Thomas would behave and whether the coaches would really be able to take care of him and cater to his needs. I was worried that Thomas wouldn’t be engaged because he couldn’t follow instructions.

What does being part of Strathmore Community Rugby Trust mean to you?

It means that my son has a place where he can go, every single week, where he is accepted and valued. It means he can get exercise in a fun way. He is learning to follow instructions from adults and to trust people outside his family circle. His sisters are neurotypical but they have always attended with him. It gives them, as siblings, a place where they can play together and simply have fun, without any eyes on them. When we are in a public setting, this is not always the case. Sometimes Thomas’s behaviour is unusual and erratic so they can feel sensitive about people noticing, but at rugby they don’t have to worry about that. My girls enjoy meeting all the other children in the sessions – I think it’s probably nice for them to see that their brother is not the only one, and we are not the only family, living with autism. It has made them more open-minded, empathetic people and I am thankful for that. They have also formed bonds with various coaches and they simply enjoy going and playing the games every week. They are always proud of Thomas when he has participated and they enjoy reporting back to me if he has done well! As a parent, it has introduced me to families who are further down the road than me in terms of parenting an ASN child, so they have offered me loads of practical advice on everything from disability benefit and blue badge applications to the school system. No matter how stressful my week has been, I leave rugby on a Friday feeling better than when I came. Sitting with the other parents every week gives me a space where I can unburden my worries about Thomas among people who understand and are not judging me.

Can you describe a typical session and what do you/the participant enjoy most about it?

We arrive at the campus or pitch to be greeted by a group of coaches, who greet my children and escort them into the session. I almost always remain on site and sit with the other parents for the hour. We have gotten to know each other really well. Sometimes we talk about autism / disability challenges, but often we just chat about our week or more general things. They have been a great source of support for me in the past year and a half.

Strathmore Community Rugby Trust’s aim is to develop people through rugby, do you feel that you/the participant have developed as an individual and if so, can you give any examples?

Before Thomas started at rugby, he was basically afraid of balls. If you could try to toss or kick a ball to him he would turn his face because he was afraid it would hit him. He had only recently turned 5 and started at a new school. He had limited speech capability and did not have any relationships with adults outside of school or family. Thomas is now speaking in short sentences and will have little conversations with his coaches. He talks about them when he is not with them. He looks forward to Fridays because he knows he us going to rugby. He went from spending long stretches of the sessions in the black-out tent, or only engaging one-on-one with a single adult, to participating in the whole session. He has grown in confidence – I no longer need to hold his hand or escort him into a session because he is running to enter as soon as he gets out of the car. Rugby continually gives Thomas a place to be active, engaged with other children and adults, and accepted as he is. It is his happy place.

Do you have any other feedback or stories that you’d like to share?

My daughters have attended weekly sessions with their little brother, who has autism, from the beginning. Thomas’s eldest sister became ineligible to be a participant when she finished primary school. She was so keen to continue coming that she asked if she could be a helper. They do not go to rugby because they have to, or because they are doing a favour for their brother – they go because they want to. They always have fun, they love getting to know the coaches and other kids in the sessions.

Would you recommend Autism-Friendly Rugby to others and why?

Yes, because it offers a place where children with disabilities can be active, have fun, be accepted, and have positive role models. The coaches are so competent and calm. They are well-trained and equipped to care for children with complex needs. I have never heard them raise their voice to a child. They offer a really positive coaching experience. The sessions are not difficult – any child can participate regardless of their skill level. There is no pressure. The whole organization simply wants to support your child and see them thrive.